If we never challenge the armor we use, some of us may struggle to grasp our value outside of it. Even on this day, despite years of immersion in fat-positive and body-positive advocacy, I still worried about challenging the idea of beauty in relation to my fat body. Even though I do not believe that fat women and femmes must have long hair in order to be presentable, worthy of respect, or beautiful, I came face to face with the effects of this construct on my own presentation on the day I finally made the big chop. Half the time I'm not even aware that's what I'm doing. We can be viewed as individuals who are "making an effort" in categories outside of our figures. I assumed that if it ever went, so too would my femininity, or the strength I derive from traditionally 'feminine' things like makeup, dresses, or domestic badassery.
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